Love Is Just That Way
Have you ever heard the expression, you don't know a good thing till it's gone? Of course you have! Well, have you ever been in those shoes? More than probably. I remember growing up with a rather pessimistic view of marriage. Most everyone will start a conversation about it laced with warnings. We live in a world where more than half end in divorce. It's bleak. You watch as people who love each other, and have so much to love in one another, wither. They become normal people to each other and let the stagnation become like a vine, choking out the good. At times you want to go wring their necks and bring them to the awareness and reality of how miraculous and blessed they are. They have found someone, and chose someone to love, to walk this life alongside.
Now that I'm married, my perspective has slowly been enriched. The day of my wedding one of my uncles said, "This is a such a beautiful stage of life, enjoy it." and boy was he right! I didn't know someone could make me laugh so hard, or complete me so perfectly. I had married the best man I had ever met and he has continued to be the best decision I have ever made.
But no one is immune to those choking vines, they come in so many forms. Physical and mental illness, control, distraction, addiction, financial stresses, parenting differences, infidelity, selfishness and pride. We speak unkindly, we don't make time, we lose sight of goals, we forget we are a couple, not just parent's, We don't do the little things and with time, without a change in course, the poison sets.
"We all tell ourselves
at one point or another
that this is as good as it ever gets
so we watch it die
ignore what's right before us
content to let the poison set."
This painting depicts that moment, when love is lost.
You will always find a reason, in ANY relationship, to be disappointed. It takes staying, digging deeper and loving harder to find a deep and abiding love.
I'm no expert. I've only been married four years, and we've had our challenges, but it has always been my greatest dream, despite all the opposition and doubt, to have a great love and we're still working at it.
This song is an expression of all of the pain I've seen come from lost love - and a plea - will you still take that chance with me?
<3 Hannah Sophia
The Best Things
This song carries a lot of happy feelings for me. It’s a little nonsensical, but I have a strong love for it anyways. It began as a writing exercise and became a piece of its own. The opening line, “I fixed the tea set cause it bothered me. Not like it matters, I don’t drink tea”, inspired the painting. But the chorus is perhaps the portion which communicates the charming bizarreness of the song.
“The strange things we do,
The strange things we say,
The strange things we think,
These are the best things.”
<3 Hannah Sophia
Alone
You will find similarities between this song and ‘Love Is Just That Way.” They both sprouted from the same idea, that spawned two intertwining but separate pieces. When I first wrote them my plan was to only release one, but they both seemed to complement each other so perfectly that I couldn’t bring myself to hold one back. This painting was inspired by the first verse.
“This rose was red, but now it's blue
Why do the colors not stick to you
I could be bright
You could be true
But we mix together
We bleed right through”
I loved the idea of a black and white portrait, with color bleeding through. I played with a concept I learned in high school where you draw a face or object without ever lifting your writing utensil or removing your eyes from the subject. It creates a moving line with incredible texture and shape that is as bizarre as it is alluring.
<3 Hannah Sophia
Nightmare
I don't recall my exact age, though I must have been at least twelve, because we lived in South Jordan. I had awoken from a nightmare, which wasn't uncommon, and I was filled with an all consuming darkness. I couldn't trust the corners of my room, the silhouettes and creaks we're all malevolant entities that danced in the shadows. I needed to escape the darkness.
I began the emotionally treacherous journey to my mothers bedroom. I know that my body remembers the fear that followed me up three flights of stairs and the surprising light I found when I tapped my mom's shoulder. Rather than rebuking me for waking her, her eyes welled with compassion and she took care of me. The sense of relief was palpable. I found a flicker of light in the darkness.
<3 Hannah Sophia