I’ve written it all down. I’ve tried to compile, explain and express everything this song means to me. But nothing I say can capture what the lyrics hold. No amount of specifics, explanation or commentary can give it what it needs. So I just want to tell you three things before you listen.
1. I was a teenager when I wrote this song, but it’s true still today. Our system is broken and we need to fix it.
2. The most important lyric is : “I can’t forget, I won’t forget, but I will be free.”
While recording, I frequently make up little did-dies between takes or while my engineer is adjusting things on his end. On this occasion I took a SMALL idea that had been rolling around my head and began the musical equivalent of doodling at the piano, embellishing, adding words, some coherent, some not. Once again, for me, this is not unusual. I often create great hooks while doing this.
The oddity is that even though this is my process when composing, the song is always put through several refining stages. I carefully craft the story I want to tell and develop a relationship with each song as I spend time with it.
On this occasion however, my producer insisted I jump in the booth and record it. They beefed up the arrangement and sent it my way.
It was a bit surreal. It was like I sneezed and a song appeared. I scarcely remembered the melody I'd come up with, let alone the tune. I got to know this song as a listener rather than a writer, which was a bizzare and fun experience.
I hope you enjoy my musical sneeze.
<3 Hannah Sophia
Did you know the only person you are guaranteed to be with, for the rest of your life, is you? It's a sobering truth that hopefully raises some feeling questions. How do you treat YOU? Your eternal companion. Are you feeding the best parts of you and are you taking ownership of things that aren't yours?
I had a really interesting experience recently where I wrote a letter to myself about my relationship with my body. The prompt: "When I think about my relationship with my body, I feel.." after writing out my feelings, I allowed my 'body', to respond and when I listened, I was surprised by what it had to say. My body has no ill will towards itself. It didn't have any opinions on it's shape, size, color or texture. It was a group of muscles, bones and tissues and it's 'opinions' were strictly related to function. It was happy I'd been moving more and that was about it. All of these harsh and critical thoughts that lived in my head, had no home in my body.
I've learned the self-talk isn't me. It's just words, an inner roommate that has opinions on EVERYTHING, both good and bad. My eternal companion is my soul, the voiceless, observer of it all and my peace is found in allowing experience to pass through me and consciously live in each consecutive moment of it.
<3 Hannah Sophia
This summer I fell in love with the dessert. The heat, slot canyons, red rocks, sage brush, cacti, road-runners and lizards. I don't know why it spoke to me in the way that it did. But in that beautiful landscape I learned about the gift of imperfection.
"It wasn't my fault, but it is my responsibility."
It isn't my fault that I was abused, taken advantage of, manipulated and shamed. But it is my responsibility to manage the consequences of others actions. We are hard-wired for adversity. It's a hard pill to swallow, but we also have the glorious gift and greater truth that we are the masters of our own peace.
I didn't realize how tightly I clung to my perfection, but I'm grateful that I'm learning the beautiful lessons my mistakes have to offer.
<3 Hannah Sophia