Music

Music

I didn't know how exhausted I was till they put my daughter on my chest and I tried to lift her up. I had been in labor for 24 hours, but I was nearing 36 without sleep. My husband delicately adjusted her for me, tucking the blanket around her small body.  I was filled with, and surrounded by a deep and abiding love.

Though 'Please' was not written about that moment (in fact I had written it 6 years prior) the lyrics, "How it feels to be loved, for more than who you are." seemed to be perfectly encapsulated in it.

 

<3 Hannah Sophia

So many of these songs are multifaceted in my mind. More than music and lyrics, they are vivid memories and images. The texture of the carpet in my childhood home - how it felt against my back, as I lay, mourning my first heartbreak. My mother gently stroked my arm with her calloused hand, and said,”I remember exactly what you’re feeling right now, but I can honestly tell you, that now, I can’t remember his name.”

 

Looking back I wish I could go embrace my 15 year old self, and tell her, how true my mothers wisdom was.   

 

In my last year of college I bumped into a girl in my music program. She was holding a bouquet of flowers, I asked her what the occasion was, she responded, “It’s celebrate life day.” She went on to explain that that day was the anniversary of her surviving a traumatic event. She reminded me so much of two of my younger sisters and I wanted to give her the same comfort my mother had given me. The next morning I started writing, Little Sister.

 

The words flowed freely, and the first stanza came:

 

“Hey little sister,
I've been there before
I thought it was the end too
There's nothing I can say to comfort you
Except that now I can't recall his name.”

 

This painting is of me, and my 6 sisters. Lined up oldest to youngest from the right: Rachel, Meka, Hannah(me), Mariah, Eliza, Esther, Faith.

<3 Hannah Sophia

This song was written with my two older sisters and was inspired by this quote:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”


― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

My incredible friend and co-writer Kaley Hansen created this beautiful piece of art. 

<3 Hannah Sophia

Growing a baby is a tough business. I don’t know how I didn’t know it beforehand, but you actually feel your skin stretch and grow. Everytime you think your skin can’t possibly give another millimeter and you’re on the brink of bursting, a new pattern of red lines sprout and you grow; it hurts, but you grow.  Life is funny that way, every time you think you can’t give anything else, you somehow do.

 

I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that my little bean was actually growing her own entire body, what kind of growing pains was she experiencing? What growing pains would she have to endure when she entered this world? Do we ever real stop growing? All of these thoughts and more led to the song: Growing Pains.

<3 Hannah Sophia

Have you seen the live action version of ‘Cinderella?’ If you haven’t, please do. It’s a beautiful story of kindness and courage. The film and story of Ella inspired this song, ‘Ash.’ We aren’t defined by our origins and we are more than our circumstances.  “Where there is kindness, there is goodness. And where there is goodness, there is magic.” I really believe this to be true. With kindness and courage we can find peace with ourselves and others.


“The ash, clinging to my skin,
Shows me where I've been,
But it does not define me.”

<3 Hannah Sophia